Y'know, a heck of a lot of people are all over the world right now. And y'know what? I don't care! Not that I can anyway but let's not get into semantics, 'kay? I don't care because I'm happy. Wanna know why?



See this tiny blond bombshell? Some of you might remember 'im, some of you prolly don't and most of you weren't there when he was. To those who don't know who this guy is -- and that's okay, 'cause if he knew you before he forgot completely, way to go -- well, that'd be Roxas.

An' even though he thinks I'm nuts because I keep insistin' it has so been a year since I died, that's okay! I'm workin' on the good stuff! I have my hus-- boyf-- best fr-- fuck, Envy partner back. Screw terminology.

And that's all that matters. Got it memorized?

I am so fucking subtle, really.

So. Does anyone want Syphilis? I've got plenty for all of you! ... Also got the Clap, Herpes, Rabies, Mono an' HIV.

What the hell?

'Vy, you're outta milk. An' bread.

You know you're bored when you're making grocery inventory, seriously.

Checkin' out your own fandom's marchandise is a really, really bad idea. Sure, the Play Arts are pretty enough, but that plushie so doesn't look like me. The good point in this would be that there's no marchandise of Riku. At all. Score one for me.

... Oddly enough Demyx has a plushie. Uh. Weird.

This said -- what're your fandom merchandises? Good, bad, creepy, non-existant? Whatever. Just say it. I'm bored.

I totally didn't get the damn Roxas plushie. Got that? I didn't, an' if anyone says otherwise, it's lies and slander.

... So he's gone, huh.

I'm pretty sure divorcing for the reason "my husband isn't who he was anymore" is still appliable, innit? 'Cause, I'm thinking, hey, this is actually pretty much the truth! Considering he's gone on to be another person entirely. Again.

I'm feelin' like cheap beer an' smokes, an' I don't even smoke. Anyone up for it? Get my mind off of. Things.

Fuck this shit. I don't even have a heart to break.

Replace waffle with log. O yeah. It's that time, kiddies.

Who: Axel and Roxas.
Why: Marie is leaving, thus ... so's Roxas! This is something one tells to their spouses, I believe. :|
When: Tooooonight.
Where: Their castle.
What: Much emo and star action because otherwise Marie cannot finish a log. :| Roxas figuring out he's "fading away" in slow motion a la Twilight Town and thus telling Axel. And Axel ... going nooooooooooooooooo dramatically. Mostly.

You weren't there unless you suddenly play a random Nobody. which. I hope you don't. That would be terribly boring.

LAST LOG EVER WITH ME AND MARIE, FOLKS. I shall now take a bow and leave you to your reading.

( Someone should just tape Roxas down so he can stop leaving. that'd be great. Warning: This log includes the use of BRIGHT COLOOORS because I could. )

There is a half-eaten bar of chocolate under your bed. You have no idea how old it is. Do you:

a) Eat it
b) Trash it
c) Put it in
d) Give it to a hobo
e) The mere sight of it makes you vomit because of your anorexia/bulimia streak
f) Other.


Inquiring minds want to know.

I'd say something like "So, how 'bout them fightin' words" but it looks like nobody's quite ready for a joke on the To Be war yet. I don't see why that's such a big deal, I mean, the last time I was in a war it was ended by genocide, thank you Mr Hero. ... Ah, wait, now I get it.

I am so not pronouncing myself on that matter more than that -- I grew out of my suicidal phase pretty much the second it was accomplished. I made a note "HUGE SUCCESS" and everything. Didn't get the cake, though. Anyway. Since I said I wasn't gonna talk about it anymore, I only have this to say.

Just be glad you haven't met GLaDOS.

And now if you speak to me about any upcoming conflicts at all, you'll find I'm great at changing the subject. I have mad skills and everything.

Oh, wow. Since when is it February? Apparently four days. Hadn't been aware of this sudden change! Eeh. February only has one good thing goin' for it, anyway. If anyone has to ask what it is, you certainly don't go out much. Or lack a 'partner'. My hints, they're so clever.

So, since I'm feeling so romantic -- you laugh, you burn, got it memorized? Good. Now don't laugh -- since I'm a mushy cuddle-bunny deep in my woobie center or ... some shit like that, and also because I'm extremely bored and curious of what other people have planned. What're you guys doing for Valentine's? Inquiring mind wants to know.

Mostly, I want to laugh if your ideas are stupid, but I'm great like that. Allowed!

Also, a FYI to the people on the street: I don't suffer from manorexia. (That's not even a real disease, geesh.) French people are way too judgmental these days. Can't a guy look a little on the skinny side without bein' accused of the usual fifteen-year-old-girl complex?

So. Upon weird circumstances sometime close to last weekend, I'm a cat. ... A cat with typing abilities that seem to come from the fact that the other felines in the world that stuck us like this are musical cats, what the hell. The only plus about this thing is that Saïx is a dog, which makes all the dog jokes truths. Ah. Otherwise, there aren't all that great points about bein' a feline!

Like 'Vy seemin' to have an obsession with petting me. The purr isn't an invitation to anythin', got that memorized?

Or after a while I'm startin' to wonder if Roxas isn't developpin' furry tendencies. Oops. Also, that song is going to be stuck in my head forever. An' I have this weird urge to yell out cat macros.

All in all, I'm ready for the magic to stop fuckin' up anytime now!

Seriously, babe, don't start yourself a furry kink thing -- I ain't wearing cat ears or mewling after this deal is over, an' it'd just be awkward if you left me for a cat.

Just so you know, you guys are hilarious when you fail. No, no, seriously. Keep it up. It's a great distraction. Especially when you panic. It's like my heart's beating all over again.

Well, except for the 'heart' part. Aaaaaan' the beatin' part. Heh, these things happen.

I'd make you all respond some lame-ass question that would kill your morals (like, say, "What would you do if you had the choice to kill evil brainwashed five year olds or a bunch of puppies/kittens/bunnies", maybe), except with the disaster an' everything, the answers wouldn't be truthful. You all know I'm a sucker for truth! Really.

These last two weeks were kind of boring, what with no one being after my life for a change. So I kinda quit my day-job. And by 'kinda quit' I may hypothetically mean set my boss on fire a little. Complete and total accident. Hypothetically.

An' Roxas might not have mentioned it, but I've gotta get my kicks somewhere, so --

My baby's been in Brawl for a whole year~! This is about the longest time he's ever spent in one place. Uwa~ Roxas, we're all proud of you, babe. Keep it up.

You can't Keyblade me in the knees because I just healed, and it's a true congratulations, babe, I swear.

PS: For the newbies: The name's Axel. Memorize it.

Doctor, doctor~ It's a miracle!

I can walk.

((ooc: so, err, through my great bad luck it seems the computer broke. I'm currently on my brother's -- I'm here for like, one more hour then I will scram off the Mac germs but. yeah. BASICALLY if I'm lucky my step-dad will find a way to clear it tomorrow but if not I am. pretty much screwed ah ha ha dfskjdfdkfjdsg.

I'll try to find a way onto MSN. -_-))

Five Reasons Why Being Beaten Isn't A Big Deal When You're A Videogame Character:

5. Potions/Cure. (Way to cheat pain, there.)
4. You can save your game so if you die, you can just reload the game point. (This only applies to heroes, though. Tch.)
3. There isn't any actual blood or broken bones. (Awesome for med bills, but you still feel the pain. So-so.)
2. In some, go to an inn-- fifteen seconds and you're completely healed. (Or, y'know, again, save points.)
1. Videogame logic makes it that if you're a hero, you can't die. Ever.

Five Reasons Why It Does Suck?

5. If you're out of potion and don't have healing magic, you're screwed.
4. Save points don't actually exist.
3. Only applied to heroes, and Nobodies don't bleed or get broken bones anyway. Still. Terrible pain, there.
2. Sleeping in an inn is out if you're not the hero. An' we don't even have inns.
1. If you are/were a villain, you're pretty much guaranteed to die somewhere in the game.



Basically, fuck but flesh wounds hurt.

... Uh-oh.

I dunno how I acquired that much karma, but if this is life's Christmas gift to me, it sucks.

Relatedly, I'm gonna need s'more guard alpacas, I think.

An' here I kept jokin' I'd work in the porn industry.

So! Earlier, I was checkin' out a library that's pretty close to the castles. While I was skimmin' a preeeetty borin' book, the librarian was tryin' to help this guy who was searchin' for books. An' since it got annoyin' that the librarian -- think his name was 'Douchebag'? No, wait, that's what I nicknamed 'im -- kept not gettin' the right books, I just snapped an' told 'em the title. An' added a 'fuckwit', for appearence's sake. So the librarian got annoyed, we started fightin', the guy went away to find his book.

So the boss of Sir Douche comes over, an' I tell him Douche's a fucktwat who can't do his job right. An' the guy looks at me an' asks me if I want to take over his job.

Long story short, hi, I'm Axel, an' I'm a workin' member of society. AKA: A librarian.

Think it might've been the glasses.

Now that I'm married, I find myself completely changed. Basically, m'at least ten percent gayer an' more likely to cuddle. Plus, y'know, the whole livin' in a castle I haven't paid for (not new, but the company's definitely better)! Weird story 'bout the honeymoon -- there's actually a world called 'The Beach'. S'just a beach. I've heard of worlds with sucky names before ("The World that Never Was", seriously?) but that kinda takes the cake. Well, s'a pretty deserted world, so, t'was pretty fun. Roxas got a tiny sunburn. S'cute.

I didn't get anyone but 'Vy souvenirs. F'you wanted some, sucks to be you.

... An' lastly, Nami, the alpaca's named Rikupiku. I thought it was a good name for a guard alpaca.

I feel like tacos.

FYI! Snow is still cold. In case people were unaware of it.

I was checkin' out some of the songs I've got downloaded, in case Roxas stopped hatin' on my taste in music an' let me choose at least one song for the reception. I've got very small hopes for that, but I did find a meme I could do with 'em. An' since I'm bored (what else is new!), I've decided to make you all suffer from it.

So, the meme is -- you gotta write twenty five lyris from songs an' people have to figure out which songs they come from. Artist, too. Googling is cheatin', all English songs, etc.

( Ready, set, ... meme? )




... Apparently, all my happy songs aren't in English. Tch. Anyone, go. That took forever.

((ooc: The songs are in alphabetical order out of PURE LAZINESS. They were taken from my iPod. :|b ... go ahead and mock my ability to like good songs. GO ON. :( ))

So, seein' as I'm pretty sure ninety percent of you are ... retards, I'm going to educate you on one of the finer points of life.








I'm gettin' married in ten days an' I'm postin' condom songs. My priorities are awesome.

Mornings are best spent just lyin' in bed. Got it memorized?


Now tell me somethin' completely random you believe in/like while I finish my coffee.

((ooc: at school. might be slow. \o/ WAS BORED
eta: will be back in a couple of hours!!!))

If anyone asks, I didn't spend the whole weekend readin'. Totally remembered to do other stuff, yeeeep. ... Hangin' out with Roxas counts even though I'm still readin'.


To the newbies -- yeah, yeah, name's Axel, memorize it, yadda yadda yadda, like anyone even notices that stuff anymore. Heck of a lotta people I should prolly harass. I have a feelin' like I'm losin' my badass reputation. No idea why.

Dunno when Sora or Riku will mention it, an' considerin' they'll be the ones doin' the killin' more than me, I'll be the one to warn you! Or, heck, even Roxas. Do me a favor, guys, an' don't fuck with Naminé. She's a very nice witch with crazy Keybladers willin' to save her. Keyblades, and thus Keybladers, just so you know, hurt like a bitch. I'd know, I'm marryin' one. ... Keyblader, not Keyblade. Not that far out of it yet.

Fluffy -- I'll be offended if you take jugglers over fire-breathers. FYI.

Last point! Does anyone else ever wonder why the hell is my fandom not graced with last names? Failuuuuuuure.